The Perils of Walking in Yoga Clothes

Street art from Tatyana Fazlalizadeh's Stop Telling Women to Smile.

I walked home from work yesterday.

It was a little over two miles, and since I work at a yoga studio, I was wearing yoga leggings & a t-shirt. What I wear shouldn't be relevant to a story about me walking home, but it is.

That's because a man stopped me on the street during my walk home to tell me how attractive I am (quite, apparently). Here's how the interaction went:

Him: Excuse me?
Me [expecting to be asked for directions or the time, I stopped walking]: yes?
Him: Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt your walk.
Me [still expecting him to be asking for help, which I was happy to give]: No, it's fine. What's up?
Him: I just wanted to let you know that you are really attractive. Like, very cute. I wanted to tell you that.
Me [now very uncomfortable]: Um, thank you.
Him: Yeah, you just, you look really attractive.
Me: OK, thanks. I'm going to get back to walking now.
Him: OK that's fine, I mean I was going to ask you if you wanted to get drinks or dinner or something later...
Me: Bye, have a good day. 

So there's a lot to talk about here. Feminists have (rightfully) been pushing back against catcalling in public in a number of really awesome ways: The Hollaback app, Stop Telling Women to Smile and these articles in Ebony, Hello Giggles and Jezebel. But this wasn't a textbook case of catcalling. He was fairly polite about the fact that he was interrupting my walk home to tell me that he was physically attracted to me. Nonetheless, my feminist alarm bell went off as soon as he started talking about my physical appearance instead of, say, asking for directions to the metro (or even commenting on my yoga shirt).

This Jezebel article points to one of the issues at play here: body language/conveyed interest in the people around you. This guy approached me from behind as I was briskly walking and looking at my phone. I wasn't putting out "talk to me" vibes, I was trying to get home. Should he have gone for it anyway, if he felt that into me? Would I feel differently if I were attracted to him? He was a reasonably attractive guy, but based on the way we interacted and the fact that he stopped me on the street, I feel pretty confident in saying we would not work as a couple. Would his approach have worked on a different kind of woman?

Another perplexing part of this interaction is my own responses, which were all over the spectrum:

1. I felt guilty, like I was not being sufficiently nice to him. I felt bad for not letting him say his piece and ask me out, even though there's no way I would have said yes. 
2. I felt that by wearing yoga leggings as opposed to "real" pants, I was asking for it. This is the most insidious part of my internal dialogue because ideologically, I don't agree with it (here's a good explanation of why, if you're curious). But it is a thought that went through my head and refused to be silenced. The idea that since my bottom half was clad in spandex, I was on display and should have expected to be stopped on the street by someone asking me out. Not because I think I'm hot shit, but because men can't help but objectify us when we dress that way. 
3. I felt exposed, in ways I normally don't when out in public in yoga clothes. Usually, I feel fine, though somewhat embarrassed when I wear "workout" clothing to "non-workout" spaces (restaurants, shops, etc.). That embarrassment comes from a feeling that I'm violating social norms of appropriate clothing. The exposure I felt after being stopped, however, was more because I feared that every person who walked past me would examine/judge my body. Was I opening myself up for that sort of judgement by wearing such form-fitting clothing? Perhaps. But I was not aware of the public gaze until my suitor kindly reminded me of how attractive he found me. 
4. I felt angry, that someone could stop me on the street, take advantage of my willingness to talk to strangers, and objectify me. I also felt angry that this interaction brought up so many thoughts that were clearly driven by hegemonic cultural beliefs about women in public (see items 1-3), not my personal beliefs. 

I don't even know if this qualifies as street harassment, but it certainly made me aware of the issue of street harassment. Usually we hear stories of women being asked to smile, or catcalled in very sexually explicit/violent ways. What about what happened to me? Is it a less insidious version of the same? Or is it just a case of a guy spitting poorly thought-out game? Would a feminist man do the same?

I don't know the answers, but I'd love to hear what you think. Yoga ladies, do you feel comfortable walking around in public in yoga gear? Has something like this happened to you?

Do you think this is street harassment or just an awkward conversation?

XO,
KCZ